


rock bottom

by aintitfun



Series: how to cope (vent fics) [1]
Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:34:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25560658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aintitfun/pseuds/aintitfun
Summary: in and out. in and out. in and tyler was over their head. out and they couldn't keep this to their self.
Series: how to cope (vent fics) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1852561
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	rock bottom

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Implied CSA, PTSD, Self Harm  
> please let me know if i missed anything I should tag.  
> title from rock bottom by misterwives

Tyler scrubbed at the blood stains on the linoleum floor. They had to get this cleaned up before Josh came home. Tyler would try and say that it was an accident, but Josh would know better.

Tyler had been free of self harm for over a year, but was triggered by a tv show they had been watching. All of the memories they had been trying so hard to forget came flooding back in an instant. Tyler felt dizzy even thought they were sitting down. They felt and overwhelming wave of nausea as they struggled to keep their breathing even.

In and out. In and out. In and remember how he touched you and out remember how you didn’t say no? In and remember how it’s all your fault and out no one will believe you now? In and you’re definitely going to get sick on the living room carpet and out Josh will hate you for it.

Tyler pulled their self from in front of the couch, shaking and on the verge of hyperventilating. They didn’t have panic attacks often and thy were never usually _this_ bad. They curled their body up to the toilet, head hanging solemnly over the seat.

In and out. In and out. In and you deserve to be punished and out josh doesn’t have to know.

Tyler rocked back and forth on the cold bathroom floor feeling overwhelmed with their intrusive thoughts. They knew that they could get through this if they tried, but they were honestly tired of trying. They fumbled around in the medicine cabinet until they found a box of Josh’s blades for his razor.

In and out. In and out. In and... Josh will never find out.

Tyler gently held the sharp object between their forefinger and thumb. They were doing so well, but everything felt like too much. Something had to give.

Small lines became big lines. Shallow cuts became deep cuts. Suddenly everything was too much. In and out. In and out. In and Tyler was over their head. Out and they couldn’t keep this to their self.  
——-  
“I think I need help. I’m sorry.” Admitting it was the first step, but they hated it every time.

**Author's Note:**

> i tried to write a happier ending but idk how.


End file.
